Rarely have we seen a user fail who has
thoroughly followed our program of data recovery.
Those who do not succeed are generally those who have
failed to read the manual, attempted to convert OS/2
files to MS-DOS, wish to install Windows XP on a 486
with 8 MB of memory, and the like. There are those,
too, who have, in justifiable frustration, thrown
their machines against the wall, then trounced on the
pieces, but even these often recover data provided
they are willing to spend sufficient money.
Remember that we deal with operating
systems--cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it
is too much for us. But there is One who has all
power--that one is Gates. May you find him now!
Here are the steps we took, which are
suggested as a program of data recovery and the
return of peace of mind:
1: We admitted we were powerless over our operating
systems, that our computers had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Technician fresh out of
high school could restore our computer to operational
status.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the power of Gates as we understood him.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our
hard drives and backed up as much data as possible.
5. Admitted to ourselves, to Gates (an e-mail to
Customer Support will do), and to the Technician the
exact nature of what seemed to be wrong.
6. Were entirely ready to have the Technician remove
all these defects of the computer.
7. Humbly asked him to reinstall our operating
system, magically transform our hard drives into
smooth-booting wonders, remove all viruses and other
crap, and if possible, to not lose any data in the
process.
8. We made a list of everything he told us we'd done
wrong, and determined never to do it again.
9. Never did it again, and purchased several
'Dummies' books besides.
10. Upon getting the computer back, we continued to
perform routine maintenance and diagnostics and when
we found something wrong, promptly corrected it
except when to do so would cause harm to the
operating system or our data, or when we didn't know
what we were doing.
11. Sought through prayer, meditation, late night
reruns of 'The X-Files', and the occasional spewed
obscene phrase to improve our conscious contact with
Gates as we understood him, praying only for his
products to continue functioning as advertised and
the power to insure that they do so. Some of us found
comfort in the wearing of pocket protectors and
eyeglasses repaired with tape in the privacy of our
own homes.
12. Having developed certain geek-like traits (not to
mention a fresh Windows reinstall) as the result of
these steps, we tried to carry this message to other
computer users, and to keep all of our Windows open
come what may. Many of us exclaimed:
"what an order--I can't go through with
it!", especially after receiving the
Technician's bill. Do not be discouraged. No
one among us has succeeded in perfect adherence to
these steps. We are not geeks. The point is that we
are willing to aspire to some of their skills. Our
personal adventures make clear three pertinent ideas:
a. That our hard drives were quite possibly fried and
that the Blue Screen Of Death might be the least of
our worries. b. That no amount of resolve on our part
could necessarily relieve our system crash. c. That
the Technician could and would if he were sought and
could be afforded. And if all else fails--buy
another computer and start from scratch.