|
A
little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The
teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The
little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated,
the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The
little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The
teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The
little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
A
Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.
The
girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The
teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They
will in a minute."
A
Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six year olds.
After
explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,
she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"
Without
missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou
shall not kill."
One
day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
Her
mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The
little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs
are white?"
The
children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just
think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A
small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
She's dead. "
A
teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make
the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and
I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes,"
the class said.
"Then
why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A
little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take
only ONE. God is watching."
Moving
further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile
of chocolate chip cookies.
A
child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
|